you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
