she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize