Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
