The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
