got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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