I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize