I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
