you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
