Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
