oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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