I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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