youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
