Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
