Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Panties = found
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
