i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
My life is pants optional.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
