what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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