why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
When did angry sex become our thing?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
