I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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