wakey wakey hands off snakey
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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