He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
