I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Randomize
