do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
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