just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
