Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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