She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
