She's JV to your varsity
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
