We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
