In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
