you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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