Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
You were trust falling into bushes
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize