Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
