whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
How's work?
Spinning.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Randomize
