He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
As shirtless as possible
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
