Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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