how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
