We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
