i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
