walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
