i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
