So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
