i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
