Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
