So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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