Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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