If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I'm at about main and main street
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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