Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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