Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
