he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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