someone get that fucking seahorse.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Randomize
