i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
