Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize
