He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
