i already hear my dad disowning me
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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