The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
