He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
