Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
