Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
so let's talk penis.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
