Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
