I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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