If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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